A Day in my LIfe...for now.

People often ask me what a typical day is like for me here, and the answer really is, I don´t have typical days. Every day ends up being quite different, and office days are different from community days. But I will try to give you an idea of an idea of each.

Office Day:
An office day starts around 5:13 am when I wake up to go to the bathroom. Seriously, I feel like an old woman with my bladder here. Every single morning I wake up really early because I have to pee. I try to stop drinking any liquids earlier in the evening, but I still have to pee. After that I wake up at 7 am and then there are a variety of factors that decide if I will shower.
First, and most importnatly, how cold it is. I have hot water, but sometimes I can´t face getting into the shower and getting out.
Second, how dirty I feel. If I don´t feel dirty and I can throw my hair up in a scarf, I´m not showering.
Third, if there is water. Often, we just don´t have water.

Then I wander into the kitchen and find something to eat for breakfast. Sometimes Elvia is making something, sometimes not. Sometimes I make something for both of us and sometimes I just eat some fruit and a bowl of ceral. Then around 8 Elvia and I head for the office. Well leaving at 8 is an ideal time, but really our time flucates from day to day. On my birthday we did not leave until 11 and often we are closer to 9 leaving. We go to the office and sometimes they give me something to do, and sometimes I just sit around. I like running errands, but they don´t send me very often because I get lost a lot and take a while getting back. Around 11 is snack time were we drink tea and eat a snack. Snack time lasts for a long time because various people come in and out and we drink more tea and have another snack with them. Around 1 we go home for lunch. Usually Elvia and I eat with her sister Terri and Terri´s little boy, Josedavit, and sometimes Terri´s husband when he is not working. Really lunch is from 1 to 2, but usually we don´t go back to office until closer to 3.

Back at the office I usually have less to do, and if Elvia is gone or Eluvia, I have internet time, like right now. Then between 5 and 6, usually closer to 6, we leave the office. Once home I generally read some, or sometimes watch TV. Depending on how big lunch was, we might or might not have dinner. Dinner might be left over lunch, or eggs, or some bread and tea. That is usually around 8 pm. Then between 9 and 10, I go to bed.

Most days there os something else that is happening, a birthday party, graduation, market, or I go somewhere with some nun. I often find myself going to random places with nuns, and I don´t always know where I am going, or why exactly. Usually I am taken along so I can meet new people or see a new place.

Community Vist Day:

Community days are more difficult to give an average idea because they vary so much. The first varying factor is if we are traveling in caminotea, or car. Generally we travel in caminotea, which means we wake up at 5 to catch a 5:30 or 6 am bus to wherever we are going. We generally travel for 2 to 4 hours. In the communities we give workshops, which vary. Every month we try to hold a workshop with each parish. Many of these women walk for 1 to 6 hours to come to our workshop. Many of them say the workshops are their ¨vacations¨. We do a lot on the different types of violence, physical, pyschological, sexual, paternal. We also talk a lot about rights, and everything we do has an emphasis on education. The workshops last 2 to 3 hours, and then we eat a snack after and talk with the women. A lot of the old women like to talk to me a lot, which I like too, but generally they are missing most of their teeth and I have trouble understanding them. They also like to touch my hair because it is soft and my hands, which are not calloused like theirs. They think their hands are ugly compared to mine, but I try to explain I don´t work with my hands and their hands tell their life story, which mine do not. Many of the older women don´t speak much spanish, their primary language is Mam, but the middle generations speak both, and the younger only understand Mam, but don´t speak it. The next generation won´t even understand the indiginous languages, which is sad.

I often find myself thinking about development here, and how is always comes with a loss of culture, which as I am here, seems inevitable at times. Most modern women stop wearing the corte, which is the indiginous dress. I have worn corte, and it is uncomfortable and inhibiting at times. The corte is also different based on wear you live, and when you get married, you have to adopt the corte of your husbands pueblo. While the corte is beautiful, there are very inhibiting factors to it, and at times it keeps women supressed in indiscreet ways. Elvia, who I live with, comes from a very traditional background, but was given the opportunity to go to school, although she had to work to support herself since she was 12 years old. But she is a highly independent, and almost scandalous woman because she lives by herself. While she appreciates Mayan customs, she would not go back to that way of life because it is so masculine, and she can´t be as indpendent as she would like in that culture. I am still learning and my thoughts are constantly changing, and I will probably write more on culture and development later as I have more discussions and my understaning growns.

Happy Turkey Day!

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It is my favorite holiday because it is like Christmas, but without all the stuff. I particularly like Thanksgiving when my family holds it at our house because I enjoy cooking all the foods, the smells, and I do not have to travel. I love Christmas lights, music, and movies, but feel frustrated at the consumerism of Christmas and the stress it seems to bring to our lives, when really Advent is a time of remembering Jesus and his words, but we forget his words guarding us against the temptations of materialism. So, I love Thanksgiving best of all because it is a day to be grateful for what we have, and with the thanks to remember all those who do not have as much as us, and our responsiblility to others in the world. Thanksgiving is a day to be with our family and friends and to be grateful for their presence in our lives.

So, I was not sure what Thanksgiving would be like thousands of miles from home and without any of my friends. Two years ago I spent Thanksgiving in Northern Ireland, vising my friend Olivia who was studying there. My roommate, Keatin, and I spent Thanksgiving 2007 with Olivia and made a big Thanksgiving feast for her friends there. Even though I was away from family, I had two of my closest friends with me. Well, my Thanksgiving was slightly weird, but overall very entertaining and fun.

It started about a week before when I met Elvia´s secret boyfriend who spent two years in the United States and was very excited to have a Thanksgiving dinner. He said if we cooked the food, he would buy the turkey and wine. I said, sure, I have helped my mom before and can figure it out. Which I did, but with many bumps along the road.

First, because the boyfriend is secret, the Thanksgiving would have to be secret. It would just be Elvia, myself, the boyfriend (refered to as frijol, or bean), and if another YAV wanted to come in. Well I live a good bit away from everyone else, and most everyone else was doing something with their families. So it was going to be just us three. Then we inivited some Italian volunteers in the Casadiocesana to join us, but they were going to be at a meeting on the coast that day and not returning until Friday. Again, we would be three eating everything by ourselves.

Second, I asked my mom to email the instructions to everything I needed to make, but looking at the list I was not sure I would be able to obtain everything, especially the lard needed to make pie crust, my most favorite thing to make. Also, pumpkins do not exist in Guatemala, but Marsha told us we could make a pie out of a squash found here in Guatemala. I was also unable to find evaporated milk for the pie, it is only found in larger chain stores in big cities. See, I do not live in a touristy area, which is often great for me. I am not harrassed by vendors as much, and people do not jack up the prices as much. They do a little, but I am willing to pay a small gringa tax. But the problem is, there are not many imported foods found in San Marcos. Well Elvia and I spent an entire evening going from store to store and vendor to vendor looking for everything. We eventually found everything needed except lard and evaporated milk, but I was able to substitue lard with fake butter out of vegtable oils and made my cup of powereded milk thicker. The pie turned out very well in the end.

Third, the turkey was 8 pounds, so Fanny Farmer said to cook it 15 min for each pound, So, 2 hours would be needed for the Turkey, and I would give it 3 just to be safe. Well, Wednesday afternoon I was asked to go to Chichicastenago with Elvia´s sister to help her buy things for the store. I had already said I would go with her when the date was some mysterious day in the future. Well, now I was unable to say no because the Thanksgiving was secret and I did not have another excuse. See, I am a terrible liar in English, so I am that much worse in Spanish when I am only able to speak directly. Well, I asked when we would be back and she said around 3. Plently of time to get the turkey dressed and in the oven to eat around 7 or 8.

Chichicastengo was very interesting. It is a huge market (Thursday is markety day) full of Guatemalans and tourists. The strangest thing was walking through the market and hearing English. In Chichi a Catholic priest wrote the first translation of the Popol Vuh, the sacred text of the Mayans. I went to the church that serves as a Catholic church but also has aspects of Mayan worship. Judy told me a story about when she was studying in Chichi and a little boy asked if she wanted a tour of the church and she said sure. Along the aisle of the sancuary there are stone tables set along the floor where people light candles and burn incense for different things. The little boy was telling her about all these ancient customs the Mayans have and that each stone was to pray for a different thing. Well he got to one and said, "this stone, ancient ancient mayan custom, is to pray for your car when in breaks down." I thought that was funny and we laughed about that for a little while.

Going to Chichi and coming back we encountered various road blocks and traffic jams, so I ended up getting home at 530. Uh, oh. Well, if the turkey goes in by 6 it should be done by 8, a normal eating time for dinner here. I run home, make the stuffing and put the turkey in the oven. Then Elvia and I make the rest of food and Francesca, one of the Italians, calls and says she can come after all. Perfect, we have a lot of food that Eliva and I don´t want to be eating until Christmas. Everything is going great, but the turkey is not cooking very fast. See, ovens here are all gas, and don´t have heats on them, and Elvia´s is an older model that does not get very hot. Well, the turkey took 5 hours to cook. We did not eat our Thanksgiving meal until 11 at night. Everyone was good natured, and I blamed it on my mom (sorry mom!). We had fun talking and by 10 I almost feel asleep watcing Knotting Hill in spanish before we went and ate.

Overall it was a wonderful day full of different friends and different experiences. It was a day I will always be grateful for and I will always remember the first Thanksgiving meal I cooked in Guatemala in a fake oven.

Buffets are dangerous in Guatemala

Right now many students are graduating from what we would call high school. The guatemalan school year ends on the last day of October, but the graduates continue a bit longer because they have to finish practicals. Students also graduate essentially with a major, either in computers, secretary work, teacher, mechanic, and others. Right now we have 4 girls studying different things in our office helping out for their practicals. They are pretty hilarous, I forgot what it was like to be 18 years old and almost ready to graduate high school. Apparently I am fascinating, which is great for me because they force me to talk.

Today Elvia and I went to a lunch for some dude who graduated. I did not understand her connection to thim, but eh, details are not important here. We went to a chinese food resturant and they had a buffet set up for everyone invited. Buffets are dangerous in Guatemala. People were almost pushing others out of the way to get to the line, and then they would pile multiple plates full of food to pass to their other family members. If families consisted of 4 people, this would not be a problem, but they are 10 people so the line moved way slower than it would have if everyone just went up themselves. Then the plates were piled soooo high. Imagine a comical movie where fat people are at a buffet, like the Nutty Professors. That is what the plates looked like, I´m not kidding. I was made fun of for having a full plate but not overflowing. And they ate everything on their plate. I don´t know how they did it. Except they all did admit they felt a little sick afterwords. And now Elvia and I have another dinner we have to go to later tonight for her school mate that is also graduating. Generally when we eat a big lunch we don´t eat dinner, so I will probably be able to eat a little, but I am interested to see how much Elivia will eat at dinner.

Las 24 horas, Michael Jackson, and boots with the fur

I live across the street from a 24 hour pharmacy and a comedor, which is a type of restaurant where they don´t have a menu, they just make a few different plates and tell you what they have for the day. The 24 hour pharmacy is not open 24 hours. It opens at about 9 in the morning, although it varies from day to day and closes around 10 pm. I think they are allowed to call themselves a 24 hour pharmacy because they don´t close at 6 pm. Sometimes they are open on Sundays, sometimes not, and I am not sure if they stay open for holidays.

The comedor plays music everyday incredibly loud. They have about 7 songs that they play on repeat, every single day. There are two English songs included in the loop, one by Michael Jackson and the song about boots with the fur. They start playing the music at about 7 in the morning and stop around 7 in the evening. The other day Terri went over and asked them to turn down the music, which they did, but I can still hear it from my room in the front of the house, closest to the comedor.

Gloria, Elvia's aunt, lives across the street from us also. Her balcony/courtyard/greenhouse faces into my bedroom window. Often they will scream things at me or Elvia will come to my window and have an entire conversation with someone in her family that lives across the street. Basically, spending an hour reading in my room turns into an adventure of Michael Jackson, boots with the fur, and numerous conversations screamed across the street.

Dia de los Muertos

For the Day of the Dead I woke up early and went with Elvia, her aunt Gloria, and her cousin Leonardo to decorate the grave of Gloria´s husband, Victor. He died when Gloria was 23 years old, had a two year old son, Victor, and was three months pregnant with Leonardo. I did not take my camera because I did not want to be the gringo in the graveyard taking pictures. The graveyard was beautiful with all the people and the various types of flowers and colors. After we left the graveyard we tried to buy chochitos, which is a type of food that I can´t really describe, but deliciously wonderful. Unfortunately, the women selling chochitos were sold out by the time we left the graveyard. We then walked to the house of the family of Victor and spent some time visiting. Elvia and I then drove to Santa Teresa with her grandmother and cousin, Elvira and her daughter Malleli. Most of Elvia´s family is buried in Santa Teresa, but her family had already decorated the graves. We just decorated the grave of Elvia´s great-grandmother. I love Elvia´s mother, Witcha. She gives wonderful hugs and is always smiling and trying to tell me to sit down and rest and eat and drink tea. We ate tortillas of elote, instead of maize.

We went back to Gloria´s house around 12 or 1 pm where they were preparing fiambre, the traditional meal of the Day of the Dead. Fiambre is basically a mix a various different types of foods, meats and vegetables all mixed together. I did not hate fiambre, but I did not like it either. I don´t really like beets, and a large part of the meal was beets and this disgusting vegetable that is incredibly bitter and horrible. I am not really sure why anyone would like it; the bitter taste cannot be covered. My family talks really fast, mumbles, and use slang. I tend to spend a lot of time not fully understanding what is happening, but understanding enough. That afternoon was so chaotic and full of people coming and going I was really confused, but it was a fun afternoon full of new experiences and new foods.

Mi Cumpleaños

I was nervous about spending my birthday in Guatemala, and it being so close to my arrival in San Marcos. My birthday´s have never been a huge deal, but they have always been a special day when people tell me they are glad I was born. It is a day to make you feel special and important. Needless to say, I was not sure what my birthday would be like here, and if it would even feel like my birthday. My birthday fell on a Thursday this year, and Wednesday night Elvia asked me if I wanted to go to a concert with her, her two cousins that live across the street, and Prado, the Spanish women who is working with her aunt for the next year. The concert was in the central park of San Pedro, San Marco´s twin city. The concert was free and put on by Gallo, the national beer of Guatemala. I had been sick and Wednesday was the first day I started to feel better. Everyone kept trying to feed me liters of beer and told me I was sick because I did not drink enough beer and tequila to kill the bacteria and parasites. There were two bands that played, and are apparently pretty famous and I recognized a few of the songs from the radio. It reminded of the concerts I went to in high school with everyone jumping around, the mash pits, and throwing of beer and water into the crowds. The concert ended past midnight and everyone wished me a happy birthday with hugs. Everyone, with the exception of myself and the driver were quite drunks from the liters of beer.
The next morning Elvia and Terri left the house before I woke up because they went to buy tamales and cake. Elvia´s family that lives across the street, Prado, and Judy (the American nun who works with us) came over for breakfast. Tamales and cake are the breakfast of choice for birthdays in Guatemala. Everyone who went to the concert the night before was fairly hungover, but I felt great and it was the first day I actually felt like eating. Elvia and I went into the office really late, but our arrival time into the office varies from day to day based on how quickly we get moving in the morning. Judy then came and picked me up and we went into the market of San Pedro to buy the items we needed for my birthday lunch, which was just a stir fry of vegetables and rice, but exactly what I wanted, with of course, icecream. While it was not a traditional birthday, it still felt like a special day.

Living in Guatemala

I am living in many different worlds. First, I live in the United States and am still connected to the culture there. Second, I live in the human rights sector of Guatemala of highly educated and intellectual Guatemalans and foreign activists. Third, I live in a world poverty and injustice. Fourthly, I live in the world of popular Guatemalan/Latin American culture.

Pastoral de la Mujer (women) is one pastoral within the entire Catholic diocese of San Marcos. Within the Casadicosisana there is a Pastoral de Salud (health), Pastoral de la Tierra (earth), Pastoral de Educacíon, among others, including the Recovery of the Historical Memory (REMI). REMI conducted interviews of the survivors of the civil war, the guerrillas, and the civil patrols, and the army. REMI then created a comprehensive evaluation on what happened during the war, and how Guatemala needs to move forward, while respecting the memory of the war. Today, REMI is still active in ensuring the historical memory of the war is preserved, although I am still learning about how they function. While I am don´t always understand the intricacies of intelligent conversations, I generally understand the gist of each conversation and am exposed to many different ideas.

As part of my work, we go out into smaller communities and work with women who have not been exposed to ideas of women´s rights. During my first community visit to Tectitan, a newer community, Elvia and I played an icebreaker with the women of the community. In the icebreaker all the women had to stand up and introduce themselves while saying one thing they had to offer the community. I struck that most of the women offered material items they have, such as their homes. Very few women offered their skills, probably because they don´t realize that they have skills that can benefit others. The first project I was given was to create a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet and insert all the data for a new education project in Tajumulco, (one of the parochials in San Marcos). The project is providing funding for girls to either stay in school, or start school for the first time. The ages ranged from 13-24 and most of the girls could not read or write. Then when I visited Tajumulco, Eliva and I ate breakfast with the women who helps cook and clean for the parochial. She was telling us that her small income of 200 quetzales supports her 3 children and parents. Her oldest daughter is 13 and does not go to school because she can´t afford the costs of the uniform, books, and school supplies. Plus the daughter helps her with her work. Then during the meeting with the women, Elvia taught the women about the different types of violence (physical, psychological, sexual, inter-familiar, and paternal). While they women have probably been exposed to all these types of violence, either directly or indirectly, they did not know how to explain the different types. It has been interesting to compare these newer communities to the older community of San Jose, which Pastoral de la Mujer has been working with for 9 years. The women in that community are outspoken and most of the women participate in the conversations that happen and have strong opinions that they are not afraid to share.

Elvia´s parents, sister, and one brother, live in a small puebo called Santa Teresa. Her family there still wears the indigenous traje, don´t have indoor plumbing, and keep chickens, pigs, and have one cow and one horse. There was day when we spent the morning and afternoon with her family in Santa Teresa because it was her other sister (who lives in San Marcos and also works with Pastoral de la Mujer), Terri´s, birthday. We spent the day talking with her family and playing with Elvia´s nieces and nephews. I found I have a great party trick, I can do a backbend and all the children crawl under my bridge and never get tired, even though I do! We went home that evening to eat and then get ready to go to the discotecca. Elvia is an independent and educated woman. She is 33 years old, unmarried, has been working for Pastoral de la Mujer for 9 years, and is currently studying human rights in the university in Xela. We often go out at night with her friends, in fact my first night in San Marcos we went to a bar and took tequila shots.
I am being exposed to many different aspects of Guatemalan culture, and I think it will help me learn how to keep my feet in the world of the center and the world of the marginalized.

Machetes fix everything

On October 12, I arrived in San Marcos where I will be spending the next 10 months. I am living with a single woman, who has been working with Pastoral de la Mujer for 10 years and is currently studying in the university in Xela for human rights. My living situation is very different from the other YAVs because I am not living with a family, and I am also living with an incredibly modern woman. It makes it more difficult to form community because I don´t have a built in community like people who live with families. I have to create my community myself, which has been a difficult, but important challenge for me. Creating community is not really something I have ever had to do; community has always been created around me. I have never been very good and small talk and don´t particularly enjoy it. Having to make small talk in Spanish has been challenging, but in a good way. I find it is the challenging and uncomfortable things in my life that are the best experiences and most fulfilling.

I explained a little about Pastoral de la Mujer in a previous post, and I am still learning about how they function. San Marcos is a huge department, and there are various Pastoral de la Mujer´s within the department, all connected, but doing different things and with their own programs. My Pastoral works within the mountains and Aldeas of San Marcos, while the other two groups are located on the coast. I arrived in San Marcos on a Monday, and Wednesday I went on my first community visit to Tectitan. Tectitan is actually in the region of Huehuetenago, but the parochial is connected with the dioces of San Marcos. I have known that I would be traveling around the department to visit communities, but I never really thought about how I would be traveling. Well, we travel by caminoeta. I wrote a blog post about the caminoeta´s a while back, so I won´t describe the experience again. Elvia and I traveled for 3 hours in a caminoeta up through the mountains. In order to get to Tectitan we had to go up one side of the highest mountain, Taculmuco, in Central America, and the travel down the other side. We drove up through the clouds and eventually were above the clouds, before we traveled back down. It was incredibly beautiful. After we got of the caminoeta we then had to take a taxi for half hour to Tectitan, which does not have a caminoeta stop. There were four adults crammed into the back seat and two adults and a baby crammed into the front seat, and then the driver.

Once we got to Tectitan we arrived at the house of Padre Jose, who is the main padre of the parochial. Elvia had told me we would be going to a hot water pool, so I was prepared with my bathing suit. Shortly after we arrived Padre Jose came with another guy who works for the parochial and we got in his car to travel to the hot water pools. I assumed that the hot water pool would be fairly close to Tectitan, especially because we headed out at 7 pm at night. The pools were an hour and half away down a dirt road through cornfields and we stayed at the pool until 11 pm. I was tired before we got to the pools, and actually feel asleep for a short period of time before my dinner came at 10 pm. When we left I quickly feel asleep in the car, despite my head bumping against the glass window. At some point I feel the car stopping and Padre Jose asking Elvia for a flashlight. Then I hear this horrible grinding noise coming from the car. I wake myself up and we drive the car a little ways further up the road. So now the car is stopped in the middle of cornfields and Padre Jose disappears into the cornfields and comes back with an old man with a flashlight and a machete, which I assume was to help fix the car. Rural Guatemalans use machete´s for everything, and never leave home without one. I have to admit I was very glad to be stranded at midnight in the middle of a cornfield with head Padre of the parochial because he knows everyone. They take the front left wheel off the car and are talking rapidly. I am tired and barely follow the conversation, more interested in the millions of stars I can see in the sky, but Elvia goes and picks something up off the dirt road, and then it is placed somewhere in the car, the wheel is put back on and we continue on our way. I don´t know if what Elvia picked up was part of the car or not, but it looked like a piece of cornhusk. Overall, it was a wonderful adventure.

Corn juice, quesdilla, and a very scary dog

After we left Antigua, we spent one week in a rural language school outside of Xela in a small Caserìo called Pajac. Our group of YAVs was the first group the language school taught outside of the city. Tito, the head of the language school had trouble finding enough families willing to host students, so I ended up living with Emily for the week. Emily and I lived with an incredible nice Quiche family. There was a husband and wife, their two sons, the husband´s mother, sister, and grandmother. We only learned a little of their story, but the grandmother´s husband died when she was two months pregnant with the mother. The grandmother moved back to Pajac after she gave birth, where her family resided. The mother has 3 daughters and 1 son. Her husband died 25 years old, and her youngest daughter can´t but much older than 25. The youngest daughter who still lived in the house is a nurse in Xela, and the daughter in law is a school teacher. I am not completely sure what the son does, but he is a manual laborer and worked a variety of different hours, sometimes during the day and other times at night. The family speaks Spanish, but the women speak Quiche in the kitchen and I don´t think the grandmother speaks much Spanish, but she was also pretty deaf.

I can´t say I loved the food during this homestay. Bascially we ate fried grease for a week, but we did have a refraccion every evening before supper. The snack consisted of this tea made out of mostly sugar and corn. Emily called it corn juice and it was delicious. We also had this type of bread called quesadilla. It is a bread made out of elote. Guatemalans have many different words for corn, based on different stages in the life of the corn. Maize is the typical translation for corn, but elote is the cob of the corn and is often roasted. Once the elote is roasted you can make a dough, and from this dough our family made the delicious quesadilla bread. It tastes like corn bread, but much more wonderful.

After every meal and snack Brian will go up to each person with his hands behind his back and give a little bow saying, ¨Gracias.¨ The receiver of his thanks will touch his head and say, ¨Buean provecho.¨ This is a Mayan custom and sign of mutual respect, giving and receiving thanks. Every one in Guatamala thanks the people they shared their meal with. Not only is it being grateful for the food eaten, but it is being grateful for the company shared. Sometimes it is difficult for me to accept hospitality and to be waited on. One evening the mother came rushing back from a funeral in order to begin to prepare dinner for us, even though the rest of the family was still at the funeral. Emily and I asked her if we could help her in anyway, and she said sure, we could help make the tortillas. Emily and I had already tried to make tortillas our first night, and failed drastically. The tortilla dough sticks to your hands if your hands are not moist enough, but then the dough does not stick enough if your hands our too wet. Then there is the perfect amount of dough you have to use, otherwise the tortilla is too thick, or too small. There is a perfect science to making tortillas, and Emily and I are no help in the tortilla making department. We get into the kitchen and the mother tells us to sit down and feeds us corn juice and quesadilla. It was only later we ¨helped¨ make tortillas, but in reality we were just waited on without helping at all.

That night Emily and I talked about the story of Mary, Martha, and Jesus. This is a story that tells us how accompaniment is more important than doing, and our year as YAVs is about accompanying the people of Guatemala. Emily mentioned how she always wishes that Jesus went into to the kitchen to help. I feel that would be a more appropriate story for what we are doing here. Accompaniment is about joining the lives of the people here, and part of that is helping in the kitchen. It is difficult when we are not really allowed to help, and how to figure out how to force people to allow us to accompany in all aspects of life, instead of being viewed as a guest to be waited on.

Our house did not have a bathroom, only a latrine outside near the pig pen. Emily and I realized the first day we would probably be going a week without a shower, which we did. The family also had two dogs, a puppie and an older dog. The very first afternoon we arrived, Brian, the 7 year old son, asked Emily and I if we wanted to play. We went outside to play soccer and passed by the dogs. The older dog snarled at us and Brian told us to watch out for him because he is mean. So, of course, Emily and I then watch out for the snarling dog. As we are walking down the driveway down to the road to play soccer we have to walk by the pickup which the dog is now hiding under. Emily did not realize the dog had moved under the truck and when she walked by he snarled again and Emily must have jumped three feet and screamed running into the street. It was incredibly funny, but our fear of the dog never wavered for the rest of the week. Now Emily and I were out in the street playing with Brian, and unable to get back in the house because the dog is watching us and snarls whenever we get too close to the driveway. When it becomes time to head back into the house for supper Brian hands Emily and I two rocks and tells us to throw them at the dog while we walk back inside. Obviously Emily and I do not throw the rocks and the dog, but the mother comes outside and throws a huge rock at the dog. Now Emily and I are inside the house, but we can´t leave to go to the latrine without fear of the dog. Brian and the wife had to escort us to the bathroom and told us to come wake them up if we needed to go in the middle of the night. After the first night Emily and I stopped making the family escort us, but we generally always went together with a huge stick. The dog eventually stopped growling at us, but he stayed suspicious of us and Emily and I never left the house without sticks, and were always scared to use the latrine late at night or early in the morning.

When we left the family the grandmother and wife gave us each a small gift and a bag of apples. While the bathroom situation was difficult, especially with the scary dog, the cot was uncomfortable, and I was constantly cold, I really enjoyed my week in Pajac. Instead of being grateful for what I do have, I realized how easy it is to become accustomed to doing without. Really all we need is good company, corn juice, quesadilla bread, and the willingness to show kindness and open ourselves up to complete strangers.

Yo creo que...SI!

I think I like beans. Actually, I know I like frijoles negros. For anyone who knows my eating habits, you know this is a huge thing for me. I used to hate beans. I despised beans. The thought of beans made me gag. I hated the squish and squirt of the texture and I hated the taste. Over the past year I have tried to make myself start eating beans and was able to eat them in other foods as long as I could swallow them hole without having to deal with the squish and squirt of really taste them.

I spent my last week of language school in a highly rural setting in Pachaj, Cantel. I lived with a Quiche Mayan family that did not have indoor plumbing. The experience was wonderful, with the exception of the food. They fried everything. Have you ever had a fried egg? I thought I had but realized I never have. For dinner we would eat oil with a little bit of fried squash or coliflur. I found myself desiring beans. Even the mushed up ones that are even more difficult that the whole ones. Even bean juice (a common supper with rice while I was in San Juan). We had refried beans for lunch one day and it tasted delicious. After our week was over and all the YAVs spent two nights retreating together before we left for our permanent placements, I ate a lot of beans. All I wanted was to fill my plate up with some beans and eat tortillas. I have found it is the best meal for me when my stomach is slightly uncomfortable.

I have also found I can no longer eat without a tortilla. I don´t know how to scoop the food onto my fork without one. Really, I don´t even need silverwear as long as I have a tortilla. I can just rip it in half and scoop. When you can eat your silverwear you know life is good. Tortillas can also mask the flavor of food you don´t really want to eat. In Pachaj I would get some soupy/chunky mixtures that I could not distinguish. I would often find pieces of bone in my food, so there was some kind of unidentifiable meat in the mixture. I would just use enough tortilla to sop up the mess and help mast the flavor. Then I could not think about what I just ate for at least 20 minutes.

Tortillas and beans, mmm. I can do without the rice though.

Meeting the Fams

From Thursday, October 1 - Sunday, October 4, I met the families and placements of all the YAVs, including my own. It was a busy couple of days full of ackward conversations and being completley overwhelmed by all the information being thrown at us...in Spanish. My spanish is certainly getting better, but I have difficulty recognizing verb tenses at times, plus I can´t understand people who mumble even in the slightest, nor can I keep up with conversations when people talk to fast. Then when you get left behind it is just about impossible to catch back up. So I ask all of you, if you are speaking to a person just learning your language, first, speak CLEARLY. Second, speak slightly slower so people can keep up and it will allow you to annunciate your words.

We spent Thursday in San Felipe, Quezaltenango. Willem, the sole boy in our group, will be living there working in a school and on a coffee finca near the western coast of Guatemala. The school is a private colegio that holds primerio in the morning (grades 1-6) and basico (grades 7-9) in the afternoons. It is a private school, but I am not convinced it is much better than the public schools. Willem will be living with the family who owns the school, which was bought to help the family earn additional income. Right now the school is actually loosing money. After we visited the school we went to meet Willem´s family and have lunch. His mother or sister made this delicious rice with all kinds of weird things in it. I especially loved the raisins and had seconds. Then we traveled to Finca Santa Elena where he will be working. The finca has been owned by the same family for three generations and two siblings run it and the French husband of Anne Marie (one of the siblings). The finca is also a money making enterprise, but the owners first priority is to their workers and providing stable work. The finca pays at least 10 quetzales more per 100 pounds of coffee picked and the owners are not making money to put in the bank. All of the income from the finca goes to pay their expenses. In order to generate more cash flow, they have opened their finca to tourism, but in a way that highlights the problems of coffee picking and issues of social justice. They want people to understand the reality of coffee farming and the types of lives the pickers lead. The finca is absolutely a beautiful place in general and I am excited to have our November retreat there.

Friday morning Marcia walked us around Xela helping the three girls who are living get accoustmed to the second largest city in Guatemala. After lunch we went and visited Emily´s placement, La Fraternidad de Presbeterianos Mayas. I love La Fraternidad. Both times I went to Guatemala with Queens we spent time with La Fraternidad and in the communities they work with. I have so much respect for the women of La Fraternidad and am slightly jealous of Emily. The vision of La Fraternidad is to promote and train women´s groups to act as catalysts of change, creating a better future through the implementation of holistic projects that benefit the members and their communities. They work with Maya women and have four main projects that are currently running. The have a socio-developmet program that provides technical assistance of an agronnomist to groups with agricultural projects, and environmental protection in general. They have a women´s ministry program that seeks to increase women´s participation and leadership in the family, church and community. They have an education program that seeks to elevete the quality and capacity for the independence of poor Maya women. Finally, they have a holistic health program that works on preventative health and nutrition. Then we went and met Emily´s family. Marcia had initally told us all that no one was going to have a really rural experience and likely everyone would have indoor plumbing. Well, Emily is rural and does not have indoor plumbing. She will certaintly have the longest adjustment period, but her family seems wonderful and she will be living in the same community as the people she will be working with.

Saturday we drove into San Marcos and met my placement and Elvia. I will be working with Pastoral de la Mujer of the Catholic diocese. The diocese in San Marcos is apparently the best in Guatemala and one of the best in Central America. The archbishop is very progressive and they have many wonderful projects that cover a variety of issues. Elvia started to explain to us what Pastoral does, but also started explaining all of the projects that the diocese is involved in. She also speaks very fast so I could not keep up with everything. Marcia and I both understand what the organization is trying to do, but not how they do it exactly. I know I will be traveling a lot out to different communities. Most of them will be day trips but San Marcos is a huge department so some will be overnight trips. We went to Judy´s house for lunch. Judy is an American nun who has been working in Guatemala for 15 years, and was in Bolivia before that. Then we went to Elvia´s apartment for dessert, which is where I will be living. I will just be living with Elvia, but her extened family lives across the street, with whom we will spend a lot of time. Elivia lives above a construction garage of some kind and another family lives off of the garage. It is a small apartment but very comfortable. My living situation is different from everyone else because I don´t have a family, but this will be better for my spanish. It is a lot harder not to practice when it is only you and one other highly extroverted female. Elvia is Maya, but she is incredibly modern and no longer wears the traje. I am not sure if she speaks an indigenous language, but her mother still wears the traje and lives in pueblo outside of the city of San Marcos.

Saturday night we went and had dinner with Bettina´s family. Bettina is also living with a Mayan family, but they are obviously the first generation with money. They live in an incredibly nice house, nice by American standards, and Bettina will be living in what we believe is the servants quarters because it is right next to the kitchen and she has her own bathroom. She has six brothers of varying age and the family is evengalical. Her experience will be highly different from mine and Emily´s, but in reality all five of us will have highly different experiences. We ate a delicious dinner and decided Bettina is going to get fat this year. We later learned the meal is a traditional Guatemala party meal called pepitino, or something like that. I keep forgetting the word but it is served in various methods, which we also had in a different form for lunch at Judy´s that day, and then for lunch Sunday at Dana´s.

Sunday we went to an Episcopal church service, which is the church Dana will be working at. She will be mostly working on a daily lunch service for the elderly. The church also has a small clinic that they run sometimes and bring in at least one medical mission team a year. Dana will probably travel with that team when they arrive. We had lunch with Dana´s family and then left for our last week of language school in Pachaj, a small pueblo outside of Xela.

I Tremble on the Edge of a Maybe

Tomorrow I leave for something new, a beginning. While I still have one week of languge school left in Xela, I will meet my family and placement on Saturday. Here is another poem that we read the first day we where here that I like a lot that I wanted to post.

I Tremble on the Edge of a Maybe

O God of beginnings,
as your Spirity moved
over the face of the dep
on the first day of creation,
move with me now
in my time of beginnings,
when the air is rain-washed,
the bloom is on the bush,
and the world seems fresh
and full of possibilities,
and I feel ready and full.

I tremble on the edge of a maybe,
a first time,
a new thing,
a tentative start,
and a wonder of it lays its finger on my lips.

In silence, Lord,
I share now my eagerness
and my uneasiness
about this something different
I would be or do;
and I listen for your leading
to help me separate the light
from the darkness
in the change I seek to shape
and which is shaping me.

Our Trash

I think I can honestly say I decided to come to Guatemala for a year because last March I heard one woman's story. Her name is Alta Gracia and she currently works at the Francisco Coll School. Yesterday I went back to the Francisco Coll School and was able to hear her story again, with a few additions. Many of you who read this blog have already heard her story, because I often refer to it. But I am going to tell it again.

The Francisco Coll School is located at the edge of the Guatemalan City dump. All the garbage from Guatemala City goes into this dump. Parts of the dump have been covered over the years, and that is where the school and homes of the students is located. Over a dump. The school is privately funded by International Samaritans and the Presbyterian Church, Canada. The school has 302 students and goes from 1st grade to 6th grade. Guatemalan law is that if you are behind in school by more than two years, you can't be in lower grades in public schools. Francisco Coll has permission to allow older students in younger grades. All the parents of the children work in the dump, and many of the children work in the dump too. The school also has a program for adults and teenagers to learn how to read.

Alta Gracia makes the snack at the school at has been working there since it opened, 15 years ago. Before she worked at the school she worked in the dump for 12 years. From the dump she would obtain all of her family's furniture, clothing, and food. Everything they had came from the dump. Working in the dump means that you dig through the garabage looking for items you can use, but also for items that can be recycled. People take those items to a recycling plant right next door to the dump, and are give money. Alta Gracia made 5 quetzales a day or 55 cents a day. This money went to buy powder to make tortillas, but there was none left over to even buy manzanilla tea to drink. They had to drink dirty water. One day Alta Gracia found a piece of meat in the dump and brought it home and cooked it. She and her three children ate it, not realizing it had been posioned. Her children were hospitalized for 3 months, and she was hospitalized for 6 months. She was pregnant at the time and gave birth in the hospital. It is truly a miracle that her family survived, and they she got the job at Franciso Coll. All of her children went to Francisco Coll and now two of her daughters are about to graduate from school to be teachers, and one of her sons is a mechanic.

While we were walking around Alta Gracia also showed us a tent village in front of her community and even closer to the entrance of the dump. She said 1 or 2 days ago people moved into this empty land and set up makeshift tent homes. The rule in Guatemala is that if people occupy a space for 2 or 3 years then it is their's permanently. People have to organize and move into a place all at once so the police can't move them out without causing a huge riot. The new community had set up homes with some tarps and sacks hanging over a few poles. It looked like, and essentially is, a refugee camp.

Alta Gracia has an amazing story and it is easy to see how God has worked in her life. What made me mad last March, and what still makes me mad today, is how her story is an exception. There are still so many people who depend on the dump for less than subsistence survival. Their family members die from eating bad food or not having access to care. They don't get new jobs and their children never finish the 6th grade. That is the story of most people who work in the dump. I feel angry at the economic systems in place that force people to live these lives. Economic systems that were put in place by "the first world" or the USA and Europe. Economic systems that developed countries refuse to change because it benefits them, without caring about the consequences. I am angry.

I Want to Believe

I do not believe in the right of
the one who is stronger;
In the language of weapons,
Or in the strength of the powerful.
I want to believe in the rights
of the people,
In the open hand,
In the power of non-violence.
I do not believe in race, in wealth,
in privilege,
In the established order.
I want to believe that
all people are people;
And that the order of power
and injustice
Are in fact disorder.

I do not believe that war
and famine are inevtiable,
And that peace in unreachable.
I want to believe in the simple act,
In the love symbolized
by the joining of hands,
In peace upon the earth.
I do not believe that
the dreams of humanity
will reamin merely a dream,
And that death will be the end
I dare the believe the opposite.
Always and in spite of everything
I dare to believe in the new humanity.
I dare to believe in the dream of God:
A new heaven; a new earth
where justice will exist.
~ Waldensian Church Rio De la Plata (translated)

The Gomez Family

I have been living with the Gomez family during my time in San Juan. They are an incredible family and I greatly respect everything they have been through in their lives. Vinicio is the father, Olga the mother, Vinicio the older son, and Fabio the younger son. Vinicio Jr. is married and living in Dallas Texas. Vinicio finished high school and then completed three years of university. He has had a friend, Benjamin (the director of Appe, my language school) since he was 9 years old. He and Benjamin lived togther in Costa Rica for a time while Benjamin was in seminary. He never finished. Then they both started working for the Peace Corp teaching Spanish to the volunteers. During that time Vinicio told Benjamin they should open their own language school in Antigua, outside of San Juan where they grew up. A few years later Benjamin decided to leave the Peace Corp to open a language school and asked Vinicio to come with him. Vinicio was married with a child at that time and needed to stay with the Peace Corp because it was a steady income. Eventually he left the Peace Corp and now works at Appe. Olga is an amazingly strong woman. Currently she is battling osteoporosis and has to get a daily injection that costs 300 quetzales per injection. She has to get 30 total. 300 quetzales is large fortune. Earlier in her life she battled a brain tumor and cancer. Or her brain tumor was cancerous. I believe Vinicio was telling me about two different ailments, but I can't always trust my translations. Olga often gets sick, and is really sick right now. She has been in bed since Sunday morning and today is fairly chilly, which makes her bones ache more. I love seeing Vinico and Olga interact together. Vinico helps around the house a lot, which is unusual for a Guatemalan family. He washes dishes and helps clean. I don't think he cooks, and I have never seen him wash clothes, but he is more helpful than most Guatemalan padres. He has not gone to work this week because he has wanted to be home with Olga. In so many other situations Olga's husband would probably have left her by now. All of her illnesses and operations have been very expensive, which would cause many men to leave her because she is a drain on the household instead of an asset. I love to see the love and compassion Olga and Vinicio have for each other, and how progressive their relationship is.

Last night Vinicio was telling me how greatful he is to God and all the miracles he has blessed his family with. Olga has survived many illnesses, and even though everything has been so expensive, and her injections are still expensive, they have been able to make ends meet. They live in a house that is on the water line in San Juan, so it is very rare that they don't have water. Currently our shower is broken, but we still have water. When they bought their house they had no way of knowing it was on a water line. Slowly they have been able to expand on their house and make it pretty. Olga has a garden that rival's my own mother's, just smaller. God has blessed them and hopefully they will be able to realize their future dreams. Olga wants to open up a small store in the front room of their house someday, and build a new and bigger kitchen so she can teach the students who stay in their house how to cook and make tortillas. Vinicio hopes these things can happen, but only God knows the purpose and path in our lives.

This is something that I constantly need to reminded of. Obvioulsy we have control over the choices we make, which guide our lives, but I need to make sure I am listening to God's path for my life. If you had asked me two years ago if I would be a missionary for a year I would have told you no way. I hope that this year God will continue to bless my life and give me the guidance I need to make appropriate decisions for my future paths.

My feet stink

I made a friend in San Juan del Obispo. It is a small street dog whom I have refused to name. She follows me around everywhere, but not for food. Really she just wants to be loved and around people. She came to school with me for a few days and became really protective of the school and would bark at the construction workers next door and any dog that would come in. She is so tiny that she would never win a fight anyway. Once one of the chickens pecked her and she started crying. I have not seen her in a couple of days, and both my teacher and madre told me they think she was adopted. She is very friendly, loving, and protective, so she would make a good house dog. I don't know if they are just trying to make me feel better and really something bad happened, but I am choosing to believe the happy ending story.

I have not showered in almost a week and my feet perpetually stink. The water in my house has been coming and going the last week and now that we have water, the facuet in the sink is broken. I really hope it is fixed sometime today so I can finally shower. I don't shower here as much as I did in the states, and even in the states I tried really hard to conserve water. Water is a really scare resource here, and highly expensive. I have been trying to only shower every few days unless I am sweaty or expetionally dirty. In most homes there is only one bathroom for many people, so showering every day not only uses resources, but inconviences everyone else. In my home the toilet and shower are outside, so I am only using the shower and the toilet is still free for other people to use, which is nice. My family only consists of my padres and hermano and one other volunteer living with the Gomez's.

Last night Olga's (mi madre) sobrino (nephew) was confirmed in the Catholic Church. We had a party at our house for him and his family. Often my house is very quiet because there are so few people living there, that it was nice to have a lot of talking, laughing and commotion happening. Emily (another YAV) and I like to laugh about how my hermano always has a mischevious look in his eye. Like he is always in some kind of trouble or about to get into trouble. In reality I think he is a really good kid, but he certainly has that look...

This week has been relatively quiet because Marcia was in Coban last week so we did not have many afternoon adventures. Tuesday morning we will be going to Guatemala City to visit CEDEPCA and then Wednesday we might be going into the city to visit the Francisco Coll School, and school on the outskirts of the city dump where most of the children's parents work. Thursday morning we leave Antigua for Xela. We will visit all the YAVs placements and families, and then we will spend one more week of language school in Xela. After that I will be moving to San Marcos where I will be for the rest of the year.

I can't believe I have been here for a month tomorrow...

A Very Busy Week

This week went by so quickly. Last Tuesday we did not have school because it was Guatemala's independence day. Since I have arrived in Guatemala there has been bombas going off and fiestas everyday. On Tuesday all the YAVs went into Antigua to watch the parades. Basically each school put a little performance together and they walked through the hot streets. We only stayed in Antigua for a couple of hours because, honestly, the parades were boring. San Juan del Obispo, the small town were I am living, had a very lively party with fun traditions. Families make up their own baskets of food and bring it to the central park and sell tamales, icecream, tostados, tacos, etc. The fiesta started with a man who made a speech. He talked about all the problems Guatemala is facing. He told the people of San Juan that even though they may not be facing the same problems as much of the country, they have a responsiblity to help solve the problems in their country. He also said the people need to be advocates for bringing peace to Guatemala and to the world. Even though Guatemala has a lot of problems, they still can't ignore the problems of the world. I have never heard a speech on the Fourth of July that highlights the problems of America. The Fourth is about celebrating how wonderful our country is and how far we have come. I feel it is really important to acknowledge what we have done, but what we still have to accomplish. We can celebrate our country but still make sure we are moving forward, which is what the man was trying to do. I heard about a special tradition in San Juan. They set up this huge pole and collect money and stick it to the top of the pole. All the young boys then try to climb this slick pole to the top to get the money. It could be very dangerous but no one has gotten hurt enough to stop the tradition. This year it was a 12 year old boy who won 300 quetzales. I unfortunatly missed out on the fun because I went home for dinner, but I heard about it the next day from my teacher.

Thursday we spent the afternoon in Guatemala City visiting an Immigration Organization. They mostly work with people immigrating to Guatemala, but I learned about why people immigrate in general and all the human rights violations that occur and how much people are taken advantage of.

Friday afternoon we went and had lunch with Corazon de la Mujer, or Heart of the Woman. Both times I visited Guatemala with Queens we visted this group of Mayan women, and everytime the visit is special and heart wrenching. The group is comprised of Mayan women from different indigenous groups. During La Violencia they were forced from their homes and relocated to Chimaltenago and found each other to try and cooperatively solve their problems and create better lives for their children. The women now have a weaving co-op and sell their products to different groups. Because I want this blog to focus on sharing the stories of the people I hae met, I am going to share the three stories that were shared with me yesterday.

Maria:
Maria's family fled from their home because the army was frequently coming into their pueblo and recruting men for the civilian patrols that carried out many of the atrocities during the war. Maria's mother-in-law was killed by the soliders when they fled and they were never able to collect her body in order to give her a funeral. They lived in the woods for two years eating roots, berries, and fruit. They would get their water from the streams and only had enough sustanance to survive. Today it is causing many people to have gastrointestinal problems and people are dying from those complications. During this time Maria's husband tried to find work in Guatemala City and then they all moved to Chimaltenago. This was very difficult at first because they did not speak Spanish well, they just spoke their indigenous language. People did not know their family, so they did not trust them nor did they want to give her husband a job. The army then told the Mayas that if they turned themselves in, they would be granted immunity and no longer targeted. Maria's family went and "turned themselves in" to the army but they were all rounded up and sent back to their pueblos were they army could monitor them better. Maria's family went back to Chimaltengo, where they still live today.

Bernardo
Bernado lived in Chichichicastengo before her family had to flee from the army. When they army came her entire village fled into the woods where they lived for two months. The army caught her sister, who was 8 months pregnant, and cut her stomach open while she was still alive. They mutilated to fetus of her baby and then cut her tounge out and tortured Bernardo's husband before they killed them. Many people died of hunger during those two months in the woods because there was no food they could eat, they only had water from the stream. Bernardo had a baby daughter at this time who would often cry because Bernardo was not able to generate enough milk to feed the baby. Many people told Bernardo to kill her daughter because they crying would give their location away to the military. Eventually Bernardo found her way to Chimaltenango and Heart of the Women, who helped her learn spanish and get established.

Maria Adelaida:
Maria was one year old when the army came to her pueblo. Her mother tied Adelaida to her back and in each of her hands she had one of her children. While they were fleeing Adelaida's father disappeared. One of Adelaida's siblings was also lost during the flee. Her mother managed to get her family to Chimaltenago, but was often unable to provide for her children. Adelaida only went to school until third grade because she was embarrassed that she was so much older than the other children and that she never had new clothes or new shoes. She dropped out of school and started working in a clothing factory so she could provide for herself and no longer be a burden on her family. When she was 17 she got married hoping her life would get easier. She married an alcholic and had two daughters with him. He was also killed by the military. Adelaida was left with two daughters to raise by herself so she had to move home. She started an herbal remedy business and decided she wanted to go work in the United States. She tried to find legal means of getting to the United States, but was cheated out of a lot of money by a con man taking advantage of people wanting to immigrate. By wanting to get ahead, Adelaida was pushed even further back by the system. Adelaida joined Corazon and was given a scholarship to finish school through the sixth grade and since has been able to travel around Guatemala and Central America with her herbal remedy business. She would like to continue with school, but she is also helping her daughters finish school. In Octuber she will be going to the United States to visit Queens and participate in the Guatemala reunion.

I think it is important to tell these women's stories because we should not pity them. They have powerful stories and are even stronger women. It is important to recognize that the United States played a huge role in the civil war in Guatemala. The United States sponsored a coup of a democratically elected president and then financed the army and provided them with torture training. While we are not directly responsible for the atrocities that happpened, we are responsible to our government, and must hold them accountable for the actions they engage in.

The women expressed sorrow that Guatemala has sent soldiers into the middle east because they know innocent families are experiencing the same things they went through. Every time I visit these women I am filled with different emotions. I have never really been a full advocate of non violence. I have always wanted to avoid it at all costs, but could understand why guerillas decide to resort to violence. One of my favorite theologians is Dietreich Bonhoffer, who was apart of an assisnation plot to kill Hitler. Lately, I have really been thinking about non-violence, and find myself moving towards the philosophy. I do not think there is any end that could justify the atrocities that happend to Heart of the Women, and hundreds of thousands of other Guatemalans. With violence and war there is so much suffering that can not be justified, ever.

The Chicken Bus

Let's talk about the chicken bus. It is called the camioneta and are old US school buses that no longer meet US codes and are sent to Latin America. These buses are painted and decked out by the owners of the bus and they have all kinds of pictures and stickers on the inside. On market days (Monday, Thursday, Saturday) these buses are packed to the brim. There are at least three people to a seat with babies and toddlers sitting on laps. There are people packed together like sardines standing in the aisles and somehow more people manage to squeeze on at each stop. The buses park at the market and men get on selling candy, icecream, healing creams, and religion. It is really interesting getting on the bus early just to see all the vendors. Then the bus gets going and drives all around the city of Antigua picking up more passengers. These drivers are crazy and run around turns, drive fast, and slam on the breaks. Then a man manages to squeeze his way through the aisles collecting the bus fair, which is about 7 US cents. These men have incredible memories because they have to collect a few times throughout the ride and they always remember who has paid, who has not, and who they owe money too if they could not break a bill. I am starting to become familiar with some of the buses and bus drivers. The driver of the Carolina bus is crazy and I do not want to be standing during that ride. The Mickey Mouse bus is the worst. I have to sit down and close my eyes the entire time or I will vomit. All in all, the chicken bus is an interesting experience (reminding me of the dalla dallas in Tanzania) and I will be excited to compare Antigua camionetas to ones in Xela and San Marcos.

We Are The Story

Thursday afternoon after classes all the YAVs traveled to Guatemala City to visit Dennis Smith, a Presbyterian Mission co-worker who has been living in Guatemala for over 30 years. We talked about current events happening in Guatemala and things we should be aware of throughout the year. We also read a speech by Ivan Illich, who criticizes Americans who go to third world countries to "help." It is important for us to be aware of the potential harm we may cause when we go into unfamiliar places without fully understanding the culture, language, and history. When we do missions it is often about us and what we hope to gain from the experience. Dennis told us that this year is going to be about us because realistically we are not going to "do" anything. We will help solve any of the problems we see, and even though we are all in placements working towards alleviating problems, we will not even make a dent in the larger problems. Dennis said that this year is about us because we are the stories, we are the accumulation of the stories we have been apart of and other people's stories become apart of us, and our stories will become apart of others. This is the greatest gift and something no one can take away from us or even deny about our year here. So, this blog is going to be my story throughout the year, and the stories of others who will hopefully become apart of me.

Estoy en Guatemala!

I am finally in Guatemala and have been here for a week. This post is going to be really long because I want to talk about a few things that happened during orientation. I will also apologize for weird puncuation and spelling, I need to get used to the keyboards here and spell check does not work in English.

Orientation was held in Stony Point, New York and all the international and national YAVs were present. We were given a lot of information on a variety of topics and issues we will face throughout the year. We had one lecture on globalization that Rick Ufford-Chase, the director of Stony Point, gave. He talked about how our system of global economics has created a system of instutional injustice. This system benefits the privledged, those who live in the "center," but keeps the poor powerless and stuck in a cycle of poverty that is virtually impossible to stop. Rick challenged us to live out the social gospel and actively stand against instutional injustice. We are all complicit in allowing these systems to continue and grow. This talk energized me about my year and affirmed I am in the right place to further learn about these systems and how I can learn to actively stand against institutional injustice. It is impossible for a person of the center - which i am- to become a part of the borderlands. It is because I am of the center that I can experience the borderlands. What I need to learn is how to keep on foot in the center and in the borderlands.

We left Stony Point at 3 am to catch a 6 am flight to Guatemala City. For the first three days we stayed in an old Catholic monastery, which is now a Catholic retreat center on the edge of Antigua. We spent the first few days getting aquainted with Antigua and getting to know each other. We started language school on Thursday and moved in with our host families for the month. Thursday was exhausting because it was a day entirely in Spanish. My language teacher does not speak English, which is good because I have to use spanish entirely. She understands a lot of English, so if I really have to ask a question in English I can. I am living with the Gomez family. My host dad´s name is Vinicio, mom, Olgo, and brother Fabio. Vinicio is a teacher at the school and is hosting two other students. I have already noticed I am understanding more Spanish, although I have trouble with tenses. I am not speaking much better, but I am sure it will come with some more time.

Yesterday - Saturday- all the YAVs climbed Vulcan Pacaya. It was an hour and half climb up fairly steep terrain. We then climbed up lava and were able to get incredibly close to the lava flow of the volcano. We all commented that in the US you would never be able to get that close, even if you signed your life away. From the volcano we could see all around Guatemala and the many mountains and volcanoes. It was truly awe inspiring. Climbing up and down the lava portion of the climb I was slightly afraid for my life because the rock was not at all sturdy, but it was incredible. A lot of people live on the volcano and gain their income by having their children beg, sell walking sticks, or rent horses to take you up. Many dogs followed us up the lava portion of the climb because they know tourists bring marshmallows to roast over the lava. These dogs are so skinny and it is heartbreaking to see them. It is heartbreaking to know they are so skinny because the people living on the volcano are also starving. I am torn on how to handle these situations. Parents take their children out of school because they know they can make money begging and selling sticks. Tourists feel worse for children and give them charity. If that were not the case, the children would have a higher chance of getting more education. The dilemna is that they beg because they have no food. I don´t know how to handle those situations because even if I don´t support child labor, everyone else does. How can I solve such a huge problem and what is the best course of action. I feel so helpless, making me frustrated, and yet I am not nearly as helpless and the people living on the volcano, and since I am from the center I am not as helpless as most of the world.

Preparation

In six days I leave home. On the 24 of August I will be leaving for New York, where I will have one week of orientation. The YAV program has five different sites, so all the international volunteers will be together for this orientation. Then on the 31 I will be flying to Guatemala for one year. I have been making lists and trying to figure out what I should pack, and what I should leave behind. I have one large duffel bad (with wheels) that I am trying to fit all my belongings in. Since a major focus of the year is on simple living, I am trying to only bring the necessities with me and leave a lot of things behind.

My placement is with an organization called, Pastoral de la Mujer of the Catholic diocese in San Marcos. They have a relationship with Cedepca, an organization I am already very familiar with. Pastoral de la Mujer is located in the small city of San Marcos, in the department of San Marcos, which is about one and a half hours from Quetzaltenago, or Xela. My first responsibility is to form a relationship with the people of San Marcos, and the work of Pastoral de la Mujer. The women's ministries include training workshops with women in indigenous communities on topics of rights, values, and participation in society. The have also formed small libraries that they oversee in certain communities. In the beginning I will accompany the women and watch and learn, but eventually I will find spaces where I will use my skills and will actively participate. I may be given the opportunity to accompany and translate for groups from U.S. churches later in they year when my Spanish is stronger. I will live in San Marcos with a lady named Elivia and her family who works at La Pastoral de la Mujer.

I want to say thank you for all your support and can't wait to share my experiences with you throughout the year. I will have decent access to internet, so please comment on my blog, facebook, or send me emails!

Finding Strength

Today I spoke at all three services at my church. At the end of every month my church takes up a second mission offering that went to me this Sunday. In order for me to explain why I feel the need to spend a year in Guatemala, I told the congregation the story of Alta Gracia, a woman I met last March while I spent my Spring Break in Guatemala. Speaking in front of hundreds of people made the fact that I am leaving in less than two months more real. I have been actively fundraising, filling out paperwork, and practicing Spanish for the past two months, but it has still been a distant adventure in the future. I am excited to leave, but I am also nervous and scared. After the second service, a lady came up and I knew instantly that she was Guatemalan. Her name is Isabella and she thanked me for going to her country. She told me that she grew up in the mountains hunting for berries, never having enough to eat. When she got really hungry, she said God would put her to sleep to make the hunger go away. When she was 12 she ran away from home and came to the United States. While I am still nervous, apprehensive, and scared to spend a year in a foreign country (where I don't fully speak the language), I am more excited. I know I will meet so many wonderful people who will touch my life, and hopefully I will touch theirs.

Where to begin?

As many of you probably know, on August 31, 2009, I will be leaving for Guatemala for a year. I will be working as a Young Adult Volunteer through the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). While I am in Guatemala I will be focusing on a life of simple living and becoming part of a Guatemalan community. I will be living with a Guatemalan host family and will become an active member of the community. I could be placed in an urban or rural setting, but either way my focus will be on accompaniment while studying and addressing social and economic injustices.

Currently, I have been working on getting my paperwork completed, physical and vaccines updated, working on my Spanish, and fundraising. In order to spend a year volunteering in Guatemala, I have to raise the funds to support me for the year. I find fundraising the most difficult and frustrating part of any mission preparation. Despite my personal phobias about fundraising, it really is an important part of the process. Fundraising forces us to trust that God will provide, and it provides the volunteer with a support group while they are away. I am finding that asking people for their prayers and support is more important than their financial support. Fundraising is also a humbling experience. It forces us to depend and trust others, which will be a big part of my year. So, I humbly begin my journey seeking emotional, spiritual and financial support.