I’m a pretty lucky person and am grateful for many things. Mostly, I am grateful for the wonderful people in my life. I have never been the type of person who knows a lot of people or has a lot of friends. Instead, at different stages of my life, I have had a small group of really close friends. As I have moved on to different stages of my life I have lost contact with old friends but I can always call up those people and pick up our friendship. That is one of my greatest blessings.
I am also grateful that I have had a lot of strong women in my life that have taught me many important things. Today I want to tell you about one particular woman who is pretty awesome. Her name is Lyssa. Lyssa is a dog groomer and we call her the dog whisperer. Lyssa approaches dogs, people and life the same way. Slowly, with kindness, with love, and with intention.
I have known Lyssa for as long as I can remember. My first memory of Lyssa is when I was about 3 or 4 years old. She worked as a receptionist for my dad and she let me sit up front and help her check clients in and out. Lyssa gave me real tasks to do and did not treat me as a child. Lyssa babysat for us kids and was around a lot during my childhood. Lyssa always talked to my sisters and I as equals. She never underestimated our intelligence or ability to understand. She treated us as adults and we probably behaved better for her than most people. She let us make and learn from our mistakes. Even if that meant hitting our heads while we tried to jump from one bed to the other (that was my sister, Corey). She taught me, from a very young age, that I could be independent. And independence is good.
Lyssa also taught me that I am not just one thing. I am mixture of many things. I am mixture of some really awesome things, some okay things, and even some bad things. She told me it is okay to be all those things, as long as I recognize and work on the not so good things. I don’t need to identify with one or two traits. Society wants to tell us who we are; who we are allowed to be.
Lyssa has showed me that I will continue to develop new traits and weed out old ones my entire life. I am not just one thing. I am many things. Some good and some bad. I don't need to look to others for a role model. I can be my own hero.
For the past few years I have said the best compliment I could ever receive is for someone to tell me I live my life with intention. With integrity. Lyssa has lived her life with intention and integrity. She has lived a life of simplicity focused on the things and people she loves. She has taught me, and her own children, that material items are not important. In fact, we need to recycle material items. Lyssa is creative and always making something beautiful out of used or unwanted items. She taught me to love the earth and love farming.
Lyssa is genuine. She is a great listener. When she asks, “How are you?” she actually want to listen. And she responds thoughtfully. She does not tell you what you want to hear. She gives you her opinion but recognizes you might make a different decision. And she is okay with that. She taught me to distinguish between my truth and others truth. My choices and decisions are not right for all people and their choices are not necessarily right for me. But I should at least listen to what other people say and then make my decision. Lyssa is slow to anger and quick to love.
Lyssa has taught me about sacrifice. She is an incredibly hard worker who has battled illnesses and personal tribulations. It is rare that you find Lyssa without a smile on her face. She could be having the worst day but she still shows kindness to others. I have watched her make sacrifices for her family and others. She does this because she loves deeply. Lyssa has taught me it is okay to let people into your life. Sometimes they will disappoint you. Sometimes they will surprise you. Sometimes you just have to brush their words or actions off and not let it get under your skin. Sometimes you need to be honest about your own actions and be the one to apologize. Sometimes you need to sacrifice your own wants for someone else. Sometimes, after a lot of effort and forgiveness, you need to walk away and move forward.
How did Lyssa teach me all these magical things? She never lectured. She never instructed. She never demanded. Most of these things she never even said explicitly. She taught me these things through her own actions, by encouraging me to rely on myself for my own self-confidence. In a few days Lyssa is moving to California. I’m beyond sad. But I am excited for her new adventure. I’m excited for her children (whom I love as siblings) to have a new experience that will challenge them in new ways. I am jealous that her sister, mother, and father get to have her in close proximity again. I am excited for Lyssa to meet new people and touch their lives. I know that when I have a million questions about crafts, gardens, animals, and life I will just have to pick up the phone instead of holler at her through my office door. But most of all, I hope Lyssa meets another 3-year-old girl and teaches her how to grow into an independent, intentional, and loving woman who will make sacrifices for others and will be her own hero.
