Dear Donald

Dear Donald,

Congratulations. You are the 45th President of the United States. At the moment I am writing you this it appears you did not win the popular vote. I’m not upset about this. I actually support the electoral college because I believe it is important that our smaller, less populated states have a voice in our government. I did not vote for you. I actually vomited when I learned you would be my president. But it’s okay. You are now my president. You have a very tough job ahead of you and I am not jealous the path you have chosen. You see, Donald, you are now accountable to me. You are accountable to all of your supporters, but you are also the president of, and therefore accountable to over half the population that did not vote for you. I’m nervous for you, Donald. I don’t think you have ever been held accountable to anyone but yourself in your entire life. You will be responsible for everyone in this country. I’m hope you understand what this means because I don’t think you will like it.

You will be criticized everyday of your life for the next four, heck, maybe even eight years. You have not accepted criticism graciously in the past. I will criticize you everyday. Now, Donald, this is not me being a sore loser. I voted for President Obama twice and I have criticized him everyday for the last eight years. I believe that we need criticism in order to grown and constantly seek something better. I have never found good enough acceptable. I also believe criticism needs to be accepted graciously. You are free to disagree with my critiques, but you must accept it graciously because you are accountable to me. You represent me, whether you like it or not, and you have to listen to my voice.

You say you will work to bridge divides and unite our country. I hope you can, and I will work with you for this goal. While am a registered Democrat I do not vote solely along party lines. I actually want a mixed Senate because I want policies passed that represent the interests of our entire country. I hope you can accomplish this. I hope you can keep our unemployment at record lows and create an increase in wages. It is still unclear to me how your current proposals will accomplish this, but I want you to succeed. Donald, I want you to know I will hold you accountable to this promise. You have a Republican majority in Congress so you don’t get a pass. You have one chance to do this right and I want to help you do this.

I want you to succeed, Donald. Your success is my success. But I need something from you. It is a big thing. It is a thing I am not sure you are willing to give me.

I need an apology.

Your words about women during your campaign have wounded me and torn me apart. You have hurt so many people in the country with language filled with hate and fear. There are many people you should apologize to but today I am going to speak to my own experience as a white woman.

I understand the words that came out of the Hollywood Access tape are over ten years old. But you see, ten years is not a long time to a girl who has been sexually assaulted. Donald, time does not matter. Sexual assault stays with us forever. It never goes away. You claim your words were “locker room banter.” You say you apologized. You never apologized. You excused your words and invalidated me. You invalidated the experience of women; those of us who have experienced sexual assault, and those of us who have not. It was not just one tape that has wounded me so deeply. Your words have constantly demeaned my gender and undermined my self-worth. You can’t understand my experience, and I don’t claim to understand yours. So when I say you have broken my heart you don’t get to say, “it was locker room banter.” You don’t get a pass as president. You are held to a higher standard. You have to acknowledge that my pain and fear for my reproductive rights are real. And that you created the pain and fear.

You are now my president. You are now accountable to me and as I told you earlier I don’t think you will like it. I know you don’t want to apologize to me for all the demeaning remarks you have made about women. But you need to if you want to heal this country. You have a lot of people to whom you need to apologize.

No one wants to admit when they are wrong but you will be wrong many times during your presidency. It is inevitable. You are human and you will make mistakes. That’s okay, and I hope we as a country can help you navigate those mistakes. But you will have to apologize. You will have to express remorse and you will have to accept responsibility for your actions. Your actions will now impact the entire world. I hope you are ready for that.

With Tremendous Love,

Whitney