Sometimes, weird things happen

People here in Guatemala and in the States always ask me what I think about Guatemala. This is a hard question to answer because I have so many different experiences, many of them beautiful and others frustrating and not so beautiful. But they are all a little weird. So I feel like the most honest answer to this question is, Bueno, sometimes weird thing happen.

I was inspired to write this blog a few weeks ago when I was sitting on a caminoneta (an old US school bus) holding a live turkey on my lap. My turkey? Of course not. At this point I realized, sometimes, weird things happen to me in this country. But what is even weirder is, I have become accustomed to these weird things and hardly think twice about them.

What types of weird things happen? Well, let´s see…

I will start with the story that prompted me to write this blog. The camionetas also have a nickname, the chicken bus. They have this name because people enter the buses carrying live chickens, roosters, and turkeys all the time. Generally this happens more in the rural communities, but it happens all over the country. The other day I was coming home from Xela, the second largest city in the country, from my language class. Occasionally I see animals on this bus, but not frequently. Mostly I see animals when I am traveling to a community to give a workshop. Well the bus was very full, three people on each seat and the center aisle crowded. An older lady gets on the bus with her turkey in her arms with a leash around its neck. She finds herself standing next to me (I was the third person in the seat) and is having trouble keeping her balance as the chicken bus whips dangerously around the curves. Well she is trying to hold her turkey and keep her balance and I am impressed that she has not completely fallen over. Well she turns and looks at me (the only white person on the bus) and says, ¨here, hold my turkey.¨ My reaction? Bueno, Of course I will hold your turkey! Well, I am sitting on the bouncing bus trying to stay in the seat myself and staring at turkey in the face, hoping he won´t bite me, and I decided that this was weird. And I started to think of all the weird things that happen to me on a regular basis.

Some of my best stories are on the caminetas. People often play with my hair on the bus, especially if it is down or in a braid. Old, young, male, female – everyone likes to touch my hair. I´m not sure if they think I can´t feel it, or just don´t care. But really, I can´t blame people for this, my hair does have magical powers.

When buses are stopped people come onto the bus selling everything from gum, water, soda, pizza, chicken, coffee, icecream, medicine, herbal medicines, pens, to water that will cure cancer. You can buy it all and never move from your seat. Generally the sellers move through the aisles advertising what they are selling, but every now and again I get a seller that decides to harass me. Here buy this icecream. No thanks. It is really good. I don´t want it. Why don´t you want it? I´m allergic. Here buy this gum in a crinkled wrapper that has been in my pocket for who knows how long. I don´t like gum. Do you want to buy my hat? Bueno, I´m allergic to hats too, but thanks. And only after the seller moves on to the next person do I realize how weird the conversation was.

Hey, Mom, don´t read this part.

Then other weird things happen that are slightly more dangerous. The other weekend I went on a trip to Cobán and El Quiché, two departments in the northern part of Guatemala. My driver was driving like a maniac up a dirt road and I finally asked, ¨Pedro, why are you driving like a bat out of hell?¨ ¨Remember that car we hit back there?¨he answers (yes because that was weird too). Well, in this part of the country people will chase after you with guns and shoot you dead. Bueno, I would prefer to return home alive. Another time I was traveling on another dirt road in the middle of the night (really not very smart, but sometimes I get stuck in situations without any other choice) and we had to stop. We had to stop because there was a huge truck in front of us full of boulders. Well, this truck was too heavy to make it up part of the mountain. What is the logical conclusion to this problem? That trucks full of boulders should not drive on this dirt road that is impossible for most pickup trucks with four wheel drive? Of course not! The logical conclusion is everyone that is waiting behind the truck and waiting on the other side of the ¨road¨ should pull the truck up the mountain. Yes, about 20 men tie a rope to the truck and pulled it up the mountain.

But really, I like the weird things that happen. I don´t even know the name of the old lady with the turkey, but I will remember her for the rest of my life, and her turkey (that never bit me). I like the excitement of waking up every day and having no idea what is going to happen. Sometimes I wonder what type of culture shock I will have once I get back to the states and everything is orderly and without chaos. Because right now walking 4 blocks to my office can be an adventure, or just an ordinary day at the office, but I never know. I never know when, but sometimes, weird things happen.